FAQ – Does the Narcissist Miss You After No Contact?

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

Sad Woman

A large percentage of people who’ve implemented No Contact with their Narcissistic partner will inevitably ask this question.  Why?  Because they are often consumed with missing the Narcissist, and they wonder if he or she has the same feelings of loss and sorrow…perhaps wondering if there’s a chance to rekindle the relationship.

The short answer is no.  When we wonder if the Narcissist misses us, we are projecting our feelings onto them.  The important thing to remember is that Narcissists do not think the way we do, nor experience the same emotions.  They operate solely from ego, so the usual emotions of missing someone or feelings of sadness and regret typically don’t affect them.  Below are the most common stages (emotional and physical) a Narcissist goes through when one has implemented No Contact (**These are not listed in order of rank.   These stages are for reference and can manifest in any…

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Winnie’s Wise Words


Zero to Hero (Blogging 101) Day Nineteen: Try a New Posting Style
Today’s assignment: build your storyteller’s toolbox by publishing a post in another format or a style you’ve never used before.

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you. 

Winnie The Pooh, A.A. Milne

I don’t subscribe to the belief that the perfect fairytale relationship exists but beneath a façade of stone, I secretly want to feel this and say it one day.


photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pensiero/142820570/ via http://photopin.com

Holding Hands with the Ring of Fire

Zero to Hero (Blogging 101) Day Sixteen: Make a Prompt Personal
Today’s assignment: publish a post based on your own, personalized take on today’s Daily Prompt – Ring of Fire.
Do you love hot and spicy foods or do you avoid them for fear of what tomorrow might bring?

I do like a good meal, even more so if the necessary accompaniment is hot sauce. Watch me wipe away the beads of sweat because I’ve doused my quesadilla in tabasco, mixed sliced fresh chilli with my Pho, dipped my tofu dumplings in Sriracha and asked for extra jalapeno’s on my cheeseburger. You can have your bland sandwich while I work my way up the Scoville scale. I want the burn, need it activating my insides and clearing my sinus.

Side note: For those living in the UK, check out Fistful of Spicehttp://www.fistfulofspice.co.uk/ I’m partial to the Chipotle but the Caribbean Hot Sauce has the added fabulousness of mango.



Fistful of Spice

Zero to Hero (Blogging 101) – Day Twelve

Inspire Yourself.
Today’s Assignment: write a post that builds on one of the comments you left yesterday. Don’t forget to link to the other blog!

It’s true. Once you travel, you don’t want to stop. For those who prefer creature comforts and predictability of routine, I dare you to one day take a trip to another place and be swallowed whole by its beauty, be touched by the warmth of its people and live a life so different to the one you’re wedded to.

Big thanks to Squeaky Robot for such a lush pictorial of Quest festival in Vietnam. You’ve just forced me to add another place on my wander-list and inspired me to share some memories from Barcelona. http://thesqueakyrobot.com/2014/04/27/quest/


Parc Guell


Barceloneta Beach


Street Signage


Playing the bus tourist


Parc Guell


La Sagrada Familia


Musee Picasso


Summer Crowds


La Sagrada Familia


Three Good Things – Day Seven

Today’s Three Good Things – The what’s and the why’s?

1. Lunch with J.
J and I met in London where we both worked for a global organisation. Since meeting, we’ve forged the kind of connection you have with people you meet on your travels… particularly if you’re from the same city. Todays lunch was at the usual, City Edge on Reservoir. I convinced her to check it out with me based on the premise of good food and hot men. Funnily enough, the latter didn’t really exist today but we still had the spoils of a good meal and obviously good chat, too.

2. Leaving work before 7pm
In advertising, it’s apparently the norm to not have lunch breaks or work the hours of 9 to 5. I wouldn’t know really since it’s my first job in a factory… ahem, advertising agency. So I managed a proper hour for lunch today, but leaving at 6pm still needs has to be worked on. It’s amazing what happens when your bosses are at the pub having a pint.

3. A dog with short legs jumping on to a super-high bed.
Mica, my sister’s dog, is a Pomeranian cross Maltese. She’s got stumpy little legs and a body like a keg. I left my room today to go and collect my tea from the kitchen. I also left a plate behind with some marinated fish and a corn cob. I expected to see her sitting on the floor upon my return, looking up at the bed with sad eyes. But no. She had bolstered her rotund self on to the bed and was polishing off half the fish while I yelled like a crazy lady. I’ve gotta say it’s a major feat for a furry person of her stature to make it up on to the bed. So well done to her. But she’s been on a diet for a few months now (I blame European parents for overfeeding and no idea about portion control) so it’s more about the health hazard.

I guess I’ve learned two good things –- don’t leave food on the bed, and if you really do want something, you will get it –– even if you’re an animal.

The Three Blessings practice was designed by Dr Martin Seligman, to help re-focus our thoughts on positive experiences, rather than the negative ones we tend to wallow in. I’ve re-named mine to Three Good Things because I think the term ‘blessing’ is misleading considering I’m not religious.

Zero to Hero (Blogging 101) – Day Nine

Inspire Yourself.
Today’s Assignment: write a post inspired by your About page or widget.

I’m one of the most indecisive people I know. I’m that person who goes into a cafe and is sure of what to order until I re-read the menu again and then spend another five minutes annoying the waiter while I change my mind. Similarly it takes me a long time to write a journal entry. I get distracted easily then come back to what I’ve been writing and dislike everything on the page. One day, I hope to be able to churn out a blog post in about 15 minutes and be happy with it wholeheartedly. Until then, I’ll be behind on this zerotohero challenge but that’s ok. I will get better at it. 


You can read my About Me page here: https://justeentrenous.wordpress.com/about/

Three Blessings – Day Six

Today’s Three Blessings – The what’s and the why’s?

I’m trying to do these daily… really, truly… 

1. ANZAC Day

Remembering and commemorating all of those who served and died in war is the April 25 tradition. Apart from watching the ceremonies on TV and the minute silence observed by all, I’ve never been to Gallipoli or out of bed for the dawn service – it is on my list of things I must do, though. My good friend and I travelled into the city to soak up the atmosphere, watched the dozens playing two up, the veterans walking the streets, the medals lined up on their pockets. It’s a blessing to see these people, appreciate and admire what they’ve done. Lest We Forget.

2. One great big hug

I didn’t recognise her at first – she’s stripped her hair of all the darkness and is a shiny blonde these days. J grabbed me as I walked past the bar at the pub and gave me the biggest, longest hug I’ve had in an age. We tried to condense over three years of happenings into ten minutes, as my buzzer went off for the food I had to collect from the kitchen. We’d never have met if we weren’t thrown together into a shambolic workplace years ago, and I wouldn’t have seen her if I hadn’t come out for the Anzac Day traditions.

3. Sunshine after rain.

The forecast only mentioned a few showers so L and I were pretty annoyed when we were caught in a torrential downpour for about 30 minutes. I wore a pair of open shoes – big mistake, and had dirty road water freely baptising my feet. It can be fun dodging puddles and streams if you’re wearing gumboots but not so when you’re caught unprepared. Not long after though, the muggy gloom turned into a sun-soaked paradise. We sunk a few beers in the courtyard at our favourite pub with that warm goodness on our faces. I think the weather was a reflection of all that’s felt on Anzac Day.

Three Blessings – (a belated) Day Five




Today’s Three Blessings – The what’s and the why’s?

1. Mica’s portrait.

My sister’s dog is the most wonderful, little, fluffy bundle. Sensing I wasn’t myself, she licked my face and then sat perfectly on the floor. It was a photo opp I couldn’t miss. It wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t given her the attention she was waiting for.

2. Best juice ever.

It was called a “Kale Cleanse”, you can guess what sort of ingredients were in there, right? It was delicious though… a mix of tang, sweetness and total health in a cup. It tasted so great because it was grown organically and made with love. Well worth the walk at lunch time.

3. I got a hug from my boss.

Yes ok, this can be creepy and classed as sexual harassment if you’re in the wrong office. But it’s not like that, at all.

I asked him why, and he said “Because I don’t know how you’ve been able to work so hard and for so long on this project. And I think you just need one”. Such a surprise and really nice to come out of a genuinely lovely person’s mouth. I didn’t expect to be thanked this way, but it was a lovely gesture, regardless.


The Three Blessings practice was designed by Dr Martin Seligman, to help re-focus our thoughts on positive experiences, rather than the negative ones we tend to wallow in.

Three Blessings – Day Four

Today’s Three Blessings – The what’s and the why’s?

1. The married couple at the coffee shop
Every morning while the cool kids are buying their trendy single origin coffees, I walk into the same coffee shop to get my perfect extra shot soy latte. The Italian couple behind the counter are amazing. N, is boisterous, argumentative, and in a grump every morning, but you can’t help liking her. Her husband, B, churns out a dozen coffees in 30 seconds, it’s miraculous really. Every morning without fail, they make me laugh or smile with their argumentative, over-exaggerated Italian playfulness. Mornings are a bitch for most people but these guys are the antidote. They really make my day everyday and I have coffee to thank for it.

2. Mum
Even as an adult, you have those days where things get too much and there’s nothing like some reassurance from Mum. I’m grateful she’s still around and though dumping problems on her is the last thing she needs, if I don’t open up to her then she can’t help me out.

3. Stu the copywriter
He’s a contractor taking on word-smithing duties for this job I’ve been busting my arse to get out. He knows everything about everything. Useless facts, the origins of common phrases, the original artist of a cover song, every conspiracy theory under the sun. He sings out loud, burps out loud and swears out loud. In such an uptight workspace, he brings the place to life. If I hadn’t taken this job, I’d never have met him.

The Three Blessings practice was designed by Dr Martin Seligman, to help re-focus our thoughts on positive experiences, rather than the negative ones we tend to wallow in.