Three Blessings – Day Six

Today’s Three Blessings – The what’s and the why’s?

I’m trying to do these daily… really, truly… 

1. ANZAC Day

Remembering and commemorating all of those who served and died in war is the April 25 tradition. Apart from watching the ceremonies on TV and the minute silence observed by all, I’ve never been to Gallipoli or out of bed for the dawn service – it is on my list of things I must do, though. My good friend and I travelled into the city to soak up the atmosphere, watched the dozens playing two up, the veterans walking the streets, the medals lined up on their pockets. It’s a blessing to see these people, appreciate and admire what they’ve done. Lest We Forget.

2. One great big hug

I didn’t recognise her at first – she’s stripped her hair of all the darkness and is a shiny blonde these days. J grabbed me as I walked past the bar at the pub and gave me the biggest, longest hug I’ve had in an age. We tried to condense over three years of happenings into ten minutes, as my buzzer went off for the food I had to collect from the kitchen. We’d never have met if we weren’t thrown together into a shambolic workplace years ago, and I wouldn’t have seen her if I hadn’t come out for the Anzac Day traditions.

3. Sunshine after rain.

The forecast only mentioned a few showers so L and I were pretty annoyed when we were caught in a torrential downpour for about 30 minutes. I wore a pair of open shoes – big mistake, and had dirty road water freely baptising my feet. It can be fun dodging puddles and streams if you’re wearing gumboots but not so when you’re caught unprepared. Not long after though, the muggy gloom turned into a sun-soaked paradise. We sunk a few beers in the courtyard at our favourite pub with that warm goodness on our faces. I think the weather was a reflection of all that’s felt on Anzac Day.

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Ignorance

You still speak of your ex, her wealth and her greatness, while I simmer in my standardness, never able to be that wonderful.

You are not aware of your effect on me. When your instant message appears on my screen during work hours, I feel my stomach doing somersaults like it did when I was ten. I don’t get why, you are not someone I ever dream my life is complete with. Yet I can not say no.

I act like you are just a friend. An acquaintance I met at a place we work together but I feel like I know you more than you will ever know. Applying lipstick carefully when we are just meeting for after-work-drinks. Acting nonchalant I pretend it’s just a beer but I will gladly rearrange my life for you even though I should not because you won’t do the same. I’m just another girl to add to your list of friends.

You are no good for me. You want things my wage can not buy. You care for things that don’t save lives. You want things I do not want and know things I have never known. But you and I are made from a similar cloth that I wear everyday. I want to ignore you, be cool and tough but for some reason I just can’t.

Here

Grey cotton skies
fumble past the pane.

The Eye peeks through the horizon,
a bittersweet reminder
of distance.

I drink my coffee,
You embrace slumber.

But you should be here
dousing the candlelight.

And I, cutting you the first slice of cake.